One more cross road in life that we have hit upon!!

9th July 2009

One more road to cross, one more risk to take.......
Gotta live my life like there's one more move to make..........

One more cross road in life that we have hit upon!!

One leads us back to the start point with a little heavy heart, but smiling togetherness and the other to the continuation of the on-going struggle, the o/p of which is a black-box to us. Coming back and living the same life, with the same comfort and complains seems like the easier path, but this is something we never considered as an option.

Time, Wealth and Energy - we have invested them all to achieve this new milestone in life and trust me, all signs pointed to it too. I am a firm believer of signs in life and since the day this kick started, signs were all for it! But now, seems like the season has changed without any forecast and the signs are not in favor. Being close to your target twice and still not being able to achieve it, leaves us aghast!!!

I know its easy for me to take the decision to walk on the other path to stretch this struggle a little longer, but how tough it is for him. All things in place, still when I walk alone in the road, even though there are millions of people walking by my side, chaos all over the stretch, I still feel so lonely. I feel so lost and I miss you so much by side. My vision gets blurred, my wet eyes makes me so blind.....

For you my love, nothing is in its place. You are all by yourself in that unknown world of strangers and still trying hard each day to give me and our love a better future. I know what you have done for us can never be compared to anything I have done and probably, I will never be able to do in my whole life. I owe you my entire life...

U are the only one in this world, who has given me, my life more than to yours.... and my career equal importance as that of yours... I don't know why was I so lucky, that I found you as my life partner.....I love U and I miss you each second.....

For all times to come, I affirm this is the last time we are away from each other...Come what may, I will never let and trouble knock your door and never allow a tear drop from eyes...I love you and I love you more than life...

Awaiting a Better Life!!

9th July '09'

"On 20th June 2009"
The departure lounge at the airport was crowded. At 5.30 in the evening, it looked dark and dull. I'd rather say 'It looked gloomy'.
'VISITORS ALLOWED INSIDE THE LOUNGE' read the sign board!! 'Security measures relief', I sighed!!

It was time for him to checking-in the baggage. They wouldn't let you out, once you enter the checkin area but you could stand and talk with a steel bar in between. We happily spent one and half hours talking to each other...holding hands and managing to hug in between above the steel bar!

Besides us were a few teary eyed people departing from the dear one's. Our eyes were full of love!!

Finally, he was asked to go for immigration!! We were baffled..Time passed soo fast...He had to leave and he was leaving..

I looked deep into his eyes. His round lively eyes were lost in my gaze.
A long pause... I took his hand into mine and said 'I'll join you soon and I love you'. He kissed me saying "I love U too" and asked me to leave before he could turn his back.

I walked ahead, looking back to see him every second moment.
I walked looking through the tall dark tinted glasses... The scene outside looked gloomier through the tinted glass.

I figured out that he was standing in the same place. As I walked through the path, I noticed something. I wasn't crying.

Just minutes before we left from the home, I was feeling inconsolable. But now...I didn't blink...I called the cabby and peacefully waited for him. Sat in th cab and the phone rang. I picked up the phone immediately and we spoke..
I said, I shall call once at home and stared out of the cab window w/o any realization. I was frozen!!

I messaged him, and he replied in return. After a long time, we exchanged so many sms'es. I still have them safe in my inbox.
The charm of wonderful words is best expressed when you type them so we din't talk.

I was at peace, no scattered thoughts in my head! I reached home after 45 mints from my departure from the airport.Went up and unlocked the door and I stared at the house from the entrance for 2 mins. I realized, I am going to be here w/o him.
Tears glistened on my cheeks. My vision was blurred... Thanks to the tears.

I wiped my tears away with one hand as I called him with the other. My reaching home safe was a relief to his ears. We spoke again...Finally it was time for his depart from hyd and it tuk him off...

I was awake to hear from him before his departure from Mumbai and then the timezone difference kept me awake late that night to hear from him about his safe landing. Restless, I was becoming with each second passing. Finally, at 3 pm India Time, I heard my Angel's voice. He was fine..he was good... Sigh a relief!! Not really wanting to do that, but he had just reached the airport and had to rush to his acco so we hung!

I smiled again. There he was... My entire world... I maybe his life partner, but he's my life. I felt his presence all over again..

And the Wait starts....Wait for a new beginning!!!! A few more days... For the begining of a new year full of birthdays to celebrate, functions to attend, Valentine's Day to celebrate Love...To be remembered for a lifetime...

Missing you baby.....

A dexterous me today!! :)

My dedication for you - 2nd July 2009

This is a chapter of the book of our life which we never wanted. Not in our dreams did we know that we will be away from each other, so far away that "ur nights are days for me" and "my dark is your light".

But, I need to confess, this rough patch has brought me closer to you and to our love. It has resuscitated the emotion which I had taken for granted. Staying hand in hand for one and half years night and day, living each moment of inseparableness, I had taken this so much for granted that I could never anticipate the void that will be there in my life stripped of you. I never realized how much I need to thank god every day for bringing us together and spilling the happiness day after another.

I MISS U Sweetie..

Everything is in it's place in life, only thing missing is U and I feel as if my whole world is missing. I feel more like a appliance than a human. I try to avoid sensitiveness so that I can avoid wet eyes!! I outlive each day but, I want to LIVE them!! I want to live them with U....

I know we have taken this decision for a finer tomorrow together. I want to affirm, I am there with you today and always. We WIN or we LOOSE, nothing would recondition. We will have a euphoric, blessed and joyous life together. I love U.... :)