Life was better that way!

The DNA of contentment is something I never possessed. As far back as I can remember, I always wanted the next step before it was time for it. I am not sure if that really made me lose on the moment or I still managed to live it all, but no regrets and no qualms.

When I was in Junior School, I always aspired to be part of the secondary school so that I could have more fun, grab more attention, and be more on my own. It was only when I stepped in there did I start aspiring about attending college, going to University. The best thing I personally asocciated with going to university was not having to wear a school uniform, not having to be a "look alike" of your fellow classmates and chilling out and spending time in libraries and canteens. Not to carry the school lunch box and not to carry the big school bag. It is only when I was in university that I started dreaming of having a job. Going to work in a business suite, driving my own car, spending my own money and living life on my own terms.

And here I am, with a good job, decent salary, own car and I so much wish I could go back in time. Go back to the time in a junior school, where I had nothing to worry about. Those carefree days of life where there was no taxes to calculate, no bills to pay, no cooking and no cleaning to do and to top it all, there was no rat race. I miss those hot summer walks, those bumpy rides in dad's scooter, I miss mom's cooking, the tiny little piggy fund to spend on the evening with friends, those days about not having to worry about gaining any weight and eating all the junk and sweets, and never having to be on your own!....Life was better that way!

My First Interview Experience in England!!

It was right after one week of landing in London that I realized I needed to get a job. I realized it was not my cup of tea to be home for the entire day and do the households chores. I mean the households could keep me busy, but I never felt contended at the end of the day. I never had any sense of achievement, I wasn't very happy switching channels on the remote day long in absolute silence. It was then for the first time, I missed the noise around in India. Atleast it helped kill the silence. I decided to look for work!

After I uploaded my CV religiously in all the six job portals, I started receiving calls from the job consultants. Most of them where trying to gather as much informaion from me as they could, but I obliged as I din't want to leave even one stone un-turned with my prospects of getting that job. With each day passing, I was getting desperate. I dropped an email to almost everyone I knew in this country informing that I had landed and looking for work at the moment.

Harry kept telling me that it was all matter of time and I will be fine and I did believe him.

I had applied for a job in one of the London's top University. I would chose not to name it for you never know I might be sued to have used their name in my blog! I received a call for interview in central London. This was in my 3rd week and I felt elated about it. I thought I wasn't doing too bad. With what I learnt from people and what I realized with experience, reaching the interview stage is the biggest challenge in this country. I went for the Interview, dressed up in my make shift business suit! Yea makeshift coz I wore a navy blue blazer and a black trouser. Harry assured that I was looking fine and shouldn't bother about the dress. I reached for the Interview and there were 3 English Gentlemen in the Meeting room and I was made seated right opposite the three.

The first part of the Interview required me to give a 10 mins presentation about my experience with Oracle Ebusines Suite. I finished my bit and I think I did fairly well. Off the three people, the Senior most person probably from the top management was in his fifties, the youngest one who asked me almost all the technical questions was in his early 30's and there was another gentleman who was like a middle level manager, guess in his late 30's. They kept asking me questions one by one and I was absolutely amazed with their professionalism. I mean it was much different to my interview experiences back in India. I was offered some water and Coffee to which I politely refused. I could probably see during the process that two of the three guys seemed very convinced and happy but one of them din't. I guess most of us can make out how we did after the Interview and pretty much know what outcome to expect. Finally, 1.5 hours of interview got over and we exchanged greetings and I left the place. I was happy with my performance and now was the time to wait for the results. The HR told me I would be informed of the result in 2 days time.

Three days passed and I had not heard from them, so I decided to call. The HR mentioned that they were yet to make the final descision as they are a bit confused between two candidates and would let me know once she has the confirmation. I kind of realized that I had definitely made it to the stage of their confusion. It was on destiny to decide the next! After two more days, I received a call and I was told, they had chosen the other guy over me! I was shunned..I wasn't really prepared for this. This was the first Interview in my career which I couldn't clear! Though I had practically only given four so far and all those were in India. I just asked the lady on the phone what was the ground on which this descision was made? She said "The other candidate had more UK experience and more overall experience". I was left sad.

In the evening, I received call from one of the guys in the Interview - the middle level manager person. He said he just wanted to have a chat with me as he din't want me to feel low about this experience. I had actually mentioned during the interview that this was my first ever Interview in this counrty and I was very serious about it. Probably, that compelled him to give me a courtsey call and give me a bit of moral boost. He said he was happy to recommend me for any other job openings as he personally felt I was very good. But it had to be cumulative descion and hence it was decided in favour of the other candidate.

I just dint know how to react. None of these talks could compensate for the fact that I din't get that job. I was happy that some one made an effort to speak to me, I must have definitely left some impressions in his mind. With this the first once came to a Close!

Now, when I look back I never feel the pain of not making it in the interview but I feel the joy of the last Call!!

The Old Couple!!

This was my 3rd week in London and I was on my way for my first Interview in this country. A little nervous yet full of confidence I was walking with Harry who decided to accompany me till the Interview venue. I am not sure if it was for moral support or because he is aware of my terrible road sense!

We were just couple of minutes away from the venue and I saw an old Indian couple may be in mid-fifties. The man was wearing a red floral print shirt and the lady who looked much older wore a shiffon saree. My first glance at them and I smiled thinking of them as an old couple enjoying their trip to London.

The very moment, I realized the man was standing next to me and asking - "beta - apko hindi ati hai?" (child, do you understand hindi). With immediate excitement, I responded - "Haan" (Yes) and the next thing I realize is Harry shouting on top of his voice - Swati, Lets go from here!!

I was astonished!!

I had no clue of the reason for this reaction of his but something within told me that he must definitely be having a strong one to do this. Few steps ahead - He told me this is the same couple who had deceived him and his friend, couple of weeks ago!

The same couple had stopped Harry and his friend in central London. He pleaded his wife was ill and they had been robbed. He borrowed 70£. He acted so miserable that he was willing to pawn his wife's gold jewellery in return for 70£. They felt pity for the man and his wife and gave them the money. He took their number and commited to call back and make sure that he returns their money, which he never did...

I just didn't know how to react to this! It was definitely not the thing I wanted to experience before my first Interview in London!!!!


Did I get that job or not?? ....

After a While...

m back...back almost after long...It's not, I didn't feel like scribbling all this while. There have been moments of extreme happiness, sense of achievement and huge LEAPS of HOPE, but somehow we cull to write in the moments of cheer and joy or when in despair and more so when in misery!

The past three months, have been a myriad of experiences. Episodes brimming with good quality family time, goodbye's, cheerfulness, restlessness, rage, retreat, liberty and self-sufficiency.

Two important chapters of my life came to end. My stint with Oracle came to a closure and so did my long lasted chapter with Hyderabad. It was great as long as it lasted! Bidding good bye to my buddies at work, friends in Hyderabad and departing from my b'ful house wasn't as easy as I thought, but all things come to an end before they can start again.

New vault brings hope for new life! Moving to London was like a dream come true for two of us. Our EFFORTS finally Paid off! We couldn't ask for more!

"Greedy we are...."!! The moment we achieve something, we realize that we already have the next objective and before cherishing the first one completely, we jump in to become the scapegoat for the next one! Not having allowed this to happen again - only partially did I succeed, I am living my days of joblessness to the brim!! Waiting for his return everyday is a pleasure .....A pleasure I never realized afore!

I couldn't have asked for more.....

The first week of college..There was this special feeling for him.
Unable to understand, Confused with experiences and believing it to be an attraction, I chose not to use my brains.

Not that I have too much of it, but I chose not to apply much thoughts on it...
May be it was too sweet w/o it...

Accepting this beautiful feeling take its natural birth and to allow it take its own shape, finally with some alibis from within, we were together....Love shaped two of us...and we grew with each other..And this relationship turned into wedlock..Marriages are made in heaven...and so are love...

....................................................

When in Love, you don't expect anything in return... but you live to give..I am not sad coz I am lonely here..I am sad that he is all by self there...and I cant do much for him..

When in Love, it hurts...It hurts when you are not together..It hurts when one is Sad and there is not much that you can do about it... It even pushes you to such an extent that you have a Large Pizza even after having a stomach-full of puchkas...

Love makes your life so full of myriad experiences..You start doing things which you never thought or planned for yourself...It is the feeling beyond words....

Having found you as my life partner is the best thing that has happened to me...I couldn't have asked for more....

We had a Ball..We had it All..

...

It's been eight years
I'd like to travel through time
But I can't do that
I never knew that good experiences
Could cause a pain like this
I want something that I can't have

........................................
Dating back old memories...


Yep!! Its been eight years....

I just cant believe that we have already spent eight years of our lives together......It feels like yesterday that we started seeing each other...
I still feel we haven't got enough of each other...not a day passes without missing you..
No clues on what's in store ahead, but one thing will remain in its place and dats our baby "love"....

Love is such a beautiful feeling ..and..I am lucky that I have the special some one in life.

We had a ball
We had it all .....

Love you sweetheart!!!

Year 2009!!

This year was a Memorable one..Brimming with 'Travel and Living'!!
Well, this is how I always yearned my life to be..so full of Sweet Little Memories,Adventure and Fun, being together in Odds and Evens...

It kick-satrted with midnight bash@RUNWAY9. Glass of drink and Dancing to the tunes of the DJ on perfect desi numbers - 'maa ka ladla bigad gaya', 'tali mien tali' and so on..Me, My better half and his kid sis.. "Good celebrations Welcomed the Year 2009"

Jan was so full of resolutions, diminutive and bulky, Met and Broken!!
We made a trip to 'Chilkur Balaji', the famous visa temple located 60 kms from HYD to pray for Jyo's MBA entrances and our year Ahead.

An fortuitous trip came to us in Feb - Trip to Pune.
It was Jyo's Interview @ Symbiosis and Shovak's @ SP Jain that bought us five together for intense planning...Started with driving down to Pune in our old Maruti 800, but good sense prevailed over Harry alas to make it simple - Lets settle for Train. We made it to Lonavala, Khandala with Shovak and Antara..Though it wasn't the perfect weather to go those places but as always, any place is fun with the right company..and we had fun.. The next day was the big day for Shovak's interview, so they moved to Mumbai and we set out for Mahabaleswar. Three of us had great fun @Mahabaleswar and Panchgini.. there is no sandwich like the Mapro sandwich. The last and the 3rd day when Jyo went for her interview, we decidedd to catch up with old buddies @Woner Funky. A Bowling Alley with many other fun to do activities..We manged some great moments with $am and Vijeta @MOCHA before heading to Wonder Funky..Shovak, Antara, Vishal, Brijesh and significant others joined us....It was good 5 hrs spent with old pals...bowling, dancing and hogging. Five of us headed back to Hyd...

It was time for Harry to plan again. To accompany Jyo to the City that never stops - Mumbai for her Narsee Monjee interview..I missed him thoroughly @home and cursed my self for not having joined him for the trip...

March - The heat sets in Hyderabad..Jyo packed her bags and headed home - back to BBSR after fate choosing not to let her go away from home..yeah she cudnt make thru the interviews and was back to bbsr to prepare for State entrance Test.
And here we were..two of us ...in our love nest!!!
On a Sunny day, 130kms from HYD, located in North Karnataka, we set off for Bidar Fort. A huge fort with the unusual structure, un-usual coz it is not at a height rather spread across a huge pc of land and u can simply drive-in... We had a wholesome lunch @ one of the dhabhas @ Zaheerabad... and headed back home...This was one of our first long trip in our car - just two of us!!

April - This was the month long-awaited for...Dates for my childhood friend $am's wedding were fixed in this month and I was really excited and luking fwd to see my friend getting married to the love of his life. This guy has been special. I meet him in 12th std when I joined KV in bbsr after dad's re-location. Since then we have been friends. We joined Engineering and were in the same branch..we joined Wipro together and post which our paths changede but we are still good pals..Me and Harry headed to Dandeli - North West of Karnataka. It was a 4 day trip. $am's wedding clubbed with Jungle resort stay, trekking, camping, safari and rafting. We satyed in Hubli for a day, post which we checked in to the Tree House in Dandeli in one of the finest Jungle Resorts. It was a wholesome experience, staying in a tree house..No TV and so close to nature..Rinku, Sanjay, Dhananjay, Setu and we two - it was quiet a GANG!!! We had gud fun @ the sangeet function and I got to spend 2 hrs with my friend($am) when these guys left for some serious GUYS FUN !!! Next day was the wedding - konkani style wedding and followed by oriya rituals as well.. Love marriages are li'l complicated in my country !! The wedding rituals were ON as our cells buzzed and we came to know RAFTING was on..We couldn't do w/o going for it and we did go for it...It was an experience of a life time..It was so much fun that my Mr perfect dint mind missing the bus back to hyd!! Lucky were we that the bus was running late and no further mess happened!!! I cant do w/o mentioning this guy 'Ilyas' who made it all possible - The rafting and our reaching hubli to catch the bus!!!

Mom and Dad paid us the long awaited visit in May!! Though summers was @ its peak in Hyderabad but there first visit to my house was something I so much looked forward to. It was one of the most wonderful times I spent with them post my wedding as during my trips to kolkata, dad is super busy with his banking job...I think me and harry managed to gave them a good 4 days stay with us..

June/July - These are the 2 months of life that kept us really busy!! No Trips were planned together, but dreams were..

Aug - To plan for more trips and adventure ahead, we planned to do away with our old car and buy oursleves a new one! The more avenues you have to search, the more opinions you can get, the more confused you are!! And so was the case with two of us..Finally, considering the budget and luxury, we settled for i10 magna!!

September came with a BANG!! Trip to GOA...The plan started with a ROAD Trip and it actually concluded with one but unfortunately not on self drive and not in our own cars!! My colleague and friend Aman and his wife and Harry's colleague and friend Nikunj and his wife...Three like minded couples came together and we executed this well planned trip. 15 hrs to and fro journey in Innova and 3 days @ GOA... Though not the peak season but the weather seemed at its best for us..!!!Loaded on three Avengers, 3 couples had a gala time!! Cant do w/o booze when you are in GOA !! The trip concluded with the demise of Harry's Nokia..I strongly curse the bad weather and the wrongly taken route..anyways, we bid good bye to his phone and left GOA...

October is a busy month for all Indians and this year all of them came in together...Karvachauth, Dusherra and Diwali.
We both love to celebrate festivals the "Right Way"! I get my own reasons to dress-up well, try my new sarees and those lovely jwelerries and harish gets a chance to satisfy his taste buds!! 2nd karva was as special as the first one and dusheerra in hyd wasn't great when I try comparing it to my experiences in Kolkata..Diwali was great and was made a perfect family event with Harish's parents visit.

November - This was a very special month as my long awaited dream of visiting Kerala - God's own country came true. We planned this 9 day long trip starting Nov end and with our anniv celebration in one of the most beautiful places in the world - kerala back waters. It was a well and long planned trip. Though exceeding our budget a li'lt, but those days were one of the finest days of our lives...Kerala has charms that no other state in India has. ... it was the most fantastic experience we had ......Started from Hyd on 27th Nov by Indian Airlines to Cochin and returned via Chennai on 6th Dec to Hyd. Covered Cochin, Munnar, Thekkady, Alleppey, Kovalam and Kanyakumari....First 2 days @ cochin were less of activities as the city is more for the European tourist and the locals are more @ comfort with them than they are with us. The place where we stayed in fort cochin ' Rossetta Wood Castle' was again designed for the European needs and taste for food. We had a wonderful saty in Munnar @ sterling resorts facing the valley with lush green tea gardens. It was chilling cold @ Munnar and this so much allured us to extend our stay there but some how these travel operators don't come to your rescue....Thekkady - Ambadi was a good place to put up with excellent food on the menu. The bumpy elephant ride was fun the in jungle trails and the massage was re-juvenating...Having enjoyed three destinations already we set for the special one @ Alleppey ..The Back Waters - Our Anniv Day. It was a mind blowing experience. Nature was at its best!! Both of us lived every second of the day..We headed to Kovalam the next day. It reminded me so much of Goa @ kovalam Beach. Almost the same gentry of crowd, similar shacks and so full of foreign tourists. We ended our last dinner of the trip with wonderul cock-tails @ pizzerria. We set forth for kanyakumari - in serach of Indira point which was drowned during tsunami and finally reached the southern most tip of our country. It sum how felt great and we njoind that experience to the core. And our long waited, long planned and well executed trip came to end and we were @ Chennai @ niraz'a place having our fav cook's home cooked masale dosai. We had a wonderful luncheon @ Niraz and Devyani's place with Gautam and Gayathri. It is always so great to catch up with old pals...old memories...

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost!!!!

Yet another year is consummating... bidding Good Bye...
It was in the beginning of the year that came into existence some do's and dont's for the year and some Must Do's were set.
(New Yr Resolutions, which I wanted to live upto this time!!!)

I dont know if I gave all of it my best shot, as slothful I have become. The Last moment work doesnot result well anymore... It's a general trait of engineering students to shirk studies until the night before the exam. Excuses are handy for any accountability to be taken but those were days the last minute maneuver dint make us look small, it never left me downhearted.

Coming to the resolute for the year, I certainly gave my best to a handful of them. I gave my bona fide and kosher efforts to things that actually dint materialize after all the deed. Its pulling me down. I Wander, I deviate but I find no answer. I'm AGHAST!!

Guess, something is missing!
Believe, It's "My Good Luck Charm"!!!

One more cross road in life that we have hit upon!!

9th July 2009

One more road to cross, one more risk to take.......
Gotta live my life like there's one more move to make..........

One more cross road in life that we have hit upon!!

One leads us back to the start point with a little heavy heart, but smiling togetherness and the other to the continuation of the on-going struggle, the o/p of which is a black-box to us. Coming back and living the same life, with the same comfort and complains seems like the easier path, but this is something we never considered as an option.

Time, Wealth and Energy - we have invested them all to achieve this new milestone in life and trust me, all signs pointed to it too. I am a firm believer of signs in life and since the day this kick started, signs were all for it! But now, seems like the season has changed without any forecast and the signs are not in favor. Being close to your target twice and still not being able to achieve it, leaves us aghast!!!

I know its easy for me to take the decision to walk on the other path to stretch this struggle a little longer, but how tough it is for him. All things in place, still when I walk alone in the road, even though there are millions of people walking by my side, chaos all over the stretch, I still feel so lonely. I feel so lost and I miss you so much by side. My vision gets blurred, my wet eyes makes me so blind.....

For you my love, nothing is in its place. You are all by yourself in that unknown world of strangers and still trying hard each day to give me and our love a better future. I know what you have done for us can never be compared to anything I have done and probably, I will never be able to do in my whole life. I owe you my entire life...

U are the only one in this world, who has given me, my life more than to yours.... and my career equal importance as that of yours... I don't know why was I so lucky, that I found you as my life partner.....I love U and I miss you each second.....

For all times to come, I affirm this is the last time we are away from each other...Come what may, I will never let and trouble knock your door and never allow a tear drop from eyes...I love you and I love you more than life...

Awaiting a Better Life!!

9th July '09'

"On 20th June 2009"
The departure lounge at the airport was crowded. At 5.30 in the evening, it looked dark and dull. I'd rather say 'It looked gloomy'.
'VISITORS ALLOWED INSIDE THE LOUNGE' read the sign board!! 'Security measures relief', I sighed!!

It was time for him to checking-in the baggage. They wouldn't let you out, once you enter the checkin area but you could stand and talk with a steel bar in between. We happily spent one and half hours talking to each other...holding hands and managing to hug in between above the steel bar!

Besides us were a few teary eyed people departing from the dear one's. Our eyes were full of love!!

Finally, he was asked to go for immigration!! We were baffled..Time passed soo fast...He had to leave and he was leaving..

I looked deep into his eyes. His round lively eyes were lost in my gaze.
A long pause... I took his hand into mine and said 'I'll join you soon and I love you'. He kissed me saying "I love U too" and asked me to leave before he could turn his back.

I walked ahead, looking back to see him every second moment.
I walked looking through the tall dark tinted glasses... The scene outside looked gloomier through the tinted glass.

I figured out that he was standing in the same place. As I walked through the path, I noticed something. I wasn't crying.

Just minutes before we left from the home, I was feeling inconsolable. But now...I didn't blink...I called the cabby and peacefully waited for him. Sat in th cab and the phone rang. I picked up the phone immediately and we spoke..
I said, I shall call once at home and stared out of the cab window w/o any realization. I was frozen!!

I messaged him, and he replied in return. After a long time, we exchanged so many sms'es. I still have them safe in my inbox.
The charm of wonderful words is best expressed when you type them so we din't talk.

I was at peace, no scattered thoughts in my head! I reached home after 45 mints from my departure from the airport.Went up and unlocked the door and I stared at the house from the entrance for 2 mins. I realized, I am going to be here w/o him.
Tears glistened on my cheeks. My vision was blurred... Thanks to the tears.

I wiped my tears away with one hand as I called him with the other. My reaching home safe was a relief to his ears. We spoke again...Finally it was time for his depart from hyd and it tuk him off...

I was awake to hear from him before his departure from Mumbai and then the timezone difference kept me awake late that night to hear from him about his safe landing. Restless, I was becoming with each second passing. Finally, at 3 pm India Time, I heard my Angel's voice. He was fine..he was good... Sigh a relief!! Not really wanting to do that, but he had just reached the airport and had to rush to his acco so we hung!

I smiled again. There he was... My entire world... I maybe his life partner, but he's my life. I felt his presence all over again..

And the Wait starts....Wait for a new beginning!!!! A few more days... For the begining of a new year full of birthdays to celebrate, functions to attend, Valentine's Day to celebrate Love...To be remembered for a lifetime...

Missing you baby.....

A dexterous me today!! :)

My dedication for you - 2nd July 2009

This is a chapter of the book of our life which we never wanted. Not in our dreams did we know that we will be away from each other, so far away that "ur nights are days for me" and "my dark is your light".

But, I need to confess, this rough patch has brought me closer to you and to our love. It has resuscitated the emotion which I had taken for granted. Staying hand in hand for one and half years night and day, living each moment of inseparableness, I had taken this so much for granted that I could never anticipate the void that will be there in my life stripped of you. I never realized how much I need to thank god every day for bringing us together and spilling the happiness day after another.

I MISS U Sweetie..

Everything is in it's place in life, only thing missing is U and I feel as if my whole world is missing. I feel more like a appliance than a human. I try to avoid sensitiveness so that I can avoid wet eyes!! I outlive each day but, I want to LIVE them!! I want to live them with U....

I know we have taken this decision for a finer tomorrow together. I want to affirm, I am there with you today and always. We WIN or we LOOSE, nothing would recondition. We will have a euphoric, blessed and joyous life together. I love U.... :)

A Beautiful Evening - 7th April '09'

A Beautiful Evening

The heavy shower last evening yet again proved the wonders of Nature is a magical thing.

It was raining ponderously, by the time we parked our car and rushed towards our Apartment we were li'l wet. And to our astonishment, we found the power was gone. The house was dark!! We lighted a few candles and helped our selves with some hot coffee. For a change we decided to open the french windows in the lounge and placed oursleves in the platform, where a few droplets from sky were touching our bodies. To my amazement, I saw Harish coming out of the room with a Mouthorgan. He played some beautiful songs for me. It was simply superb! The candle lit darkness, with the sound of rain pouring, the breeze and the music - A perfect Amalgamation.

I wished this beautiful evening would stay with us for eternity!

Do We Fight Too Much? ;)

I know some couples who say they never fight and that makes me all the more nervous about my marriage. Does having conflicts mean that we're destined for trouble?

Like you, I have heard some mature couples, married for decades, who say that in all their years of marriage they have never had one single fight. Pretty impressive, huh? But in all honesty, I often wonder about these couples. They seem so proud, like not having conflict is the goal of marriage. Actually, it makes me wonder how deep their conversations ever get if they never lead to conflict.

You see, the goal of marriage is not to avoid conflict. Not by far. Conflict—if handled correctly—can help build a stronger marriage. As said at least a hundred times: Conflict is the price smart couples pay for a deepening sense of intimacy. Without conflict it is difficult to peel away the superficial layers of a relationship and discover who we really are. If there would have been no differences, and life would be pretty boring."

Consider the reasons for marital spats. First of all, people are not perfect and neither is the world we live in. And while it makes logical sense that there are no perfect marriages, many of us still expect our marriage to be different. This expectation alone is enough to set off countless conflicts. Another factor that adds fuel to the fire of marital fights is the human tendency to resist compromise. Every day couples run up against desires, big and small, that collide with each other. For example, a husband wants to work overtime to acquire enough money to make a down payment on a house while the wife would rather sacrifice the savings and spend more time together at home. There is no real right or wrong side in this scenario. But a compromise is needed if they are ever going to resolve it. Yet for most people, compromise is difficult and conflict is thus inevitable.

No matter how deeply a man and woman love each other, they will encounter conflict. It is a natural component of every healthy marriage. So don't bury your differences. Instead, view them as a potential source for cultivating a deeper sense of intimacy.

The Joy of Acceptance

Written on 20th April, 2007

I must have been real tired last nite. So much that I knocked out without switching off the light. I slept with peace…. I am sure it wasn’t tiredness, it was peace of mind, repose, serenity…It was the absence of mental stress or anxiety…

We were bonded with each other intellectually and emotionally for the past five years. Love, joy, passion, compassion, laughter, care, concern formed one side of it and arguments, fights, trifles, tears, the other. But smiles always eclipsed frowns and we had blissful five years together.

For us, it needed no change!!!!

But, for all others… a relationship needs a name or I can say a tag…. It needs limits and clarity of definition. We arranged meeting of our parents. They ran into discussions…. They thought over it, they pronounced their approvals. We call it Institutional marriages here. A relationship, not just between two people; between two clans…

The Day, which was a reason for excitement to attend my friend’s wedding, gave my life a different meaning. It was on the 19th of April, we were sitting next to each other for the ceremony… hundreds of eyes gazing at us. It was just yesterday that were conscious to talk to each other in front of our families and this day, this moment lead to such a huge transformation that we are sitting close to each other, walking together to be blessed, from our elders.

Our lips automatically got curved into a smile when we realized this change… I felt much more affected by the way he looked at me. I could feel a different Me. We were relaxed and mellowed, intoxicated with joy………. :). The air brought in the feel of imminent autumn in the peak summers. This was the joy of acceptance…The acceptance of our LOVE with embellishes and grace. :)

A special day!!

Though it may be an irony to call one's farewell day as "D special day" in the organisation, but for me this is the Truth!

I was befuddled and lost...It was just an hour for my farewell meeting to start at Wipro-My first company! I cribbed a lot about the kind of work I did regularly,unfair managers, sad compensations & monotonous work but the fact of the matter is when you are going to leave the company, all these things seem irrelevant & fade in comparison to the amazing friends you’ve made & the memories imprinted forever in your life…And on this, the farewell meeting was like icing on the cake. It melted my heart like the butter melts with a hot knife on it....It made my move a pugnacious one!

Each mouth spoke, spoke good which I never discovered. One heart was in so much pain that it blurted..tears rolled over our eyes..Had never realized someone had become so special for me and I had become so special for someone. She's a true friend.I couldnot believe when someone spoke from the days when I joined till date. He was so observant and caring! He was none other than my manager. We shared a special bond. I am glad I met some one like him.....There were mouths saying that I was irreplaceable..not technically but the life and joy I filled in to the team. There was one guinea pig of my "quality initiative" tortures and felt he hated me to the core. But saw a different him that day! He is one of those shy guys, so took time and pulled in all the courage and alas spoke when we were about to close. We all were zapped. People laughed as he started but were still when he closed. I was taken aback!!!! Y am I leaving them??????

Then came a voice- Be glad and delighted, coz this is what you carry along with U. Technical knowledge is something you can gain anywhere, but this is something that makes U special and your stay here a success.

Food for thought: There are times in life when u stand empty handed and the very next moment u have more than u can cope up with..........

My first farewell letter!!!! " Good bye till we meet again! Sayonara......"

My Good bye mail to my team mates cum friends@wipro........


Hi F.R.I.E.N.D.S, (yes that is how I would like to address U all now and forever……..)
It really pains to write this letter this day, my last day at WIPRO Technologies. Believe me; I have lots of sentiments attached with this place because it has been my FIRST STEP in a Career of a lifetime. I got my First Job, First Salary, First Financial Independence, First Office colleagues, First interaction with Clients, First Project and a lot of other firsts.
I have been very lucky to have a really involved and closely knit team and work up to my satisfaction, and I am taking back with me volumes of knowledge, which is a the most wonderful gift I could get while departing. And what’s more is the exposure I got from this company about the whole IT industry and the things IN and OUT.
The question is “why then do I need to go?” Life has certain paths destined for all of us and we need to take each path and keep changing roles to taste the various flavors of life. Apart from that we also need to prioritize certain things in life at the right time. We all must have realized these things every now and then. I am just moving to play few new roles in life and add a few more colors to my life and get some experience of the outside world, so that I can come back and contribute in new areas and bring in new possibilities in everything I do, in the best ways I can. In short, I can call it a short juncture in my path to rediscover myself.
I would like to thank each one of you for your co-operation, always being there and giving me a platform to grow and prove myself and to learn things better. The responsibilities and appreciations I got have done huge value add to my attitude and behavior.
A special thanks to Rajaram, Pradeep and Raji for sharing their wealth of technical knowledge with me. Thanks to Vikas for being a manager with fantastic flare. He has managed to keep my morale high as a true friend whenever required! Gunk, Deeps- Though the Charlie’s Angels in goanna split, but we will still be best of friends forever… Namz, Shobhana, Sucheta, Shreeja, Sailaja, Ariv, Shifon and Raji’s (two right!): To be more precise, the gal’s gang: I would definitely miss the typical gal’s spicy chit-chats with the hot sips of coffee! Thanks to all those people who had to bear with me while enforcing the six sigma rules on them...specially Srihari… Joyce, Hanumanth and Mendhe ji, thanks for bearing me during the KAP sessions! And of course Shailesh, Srihari, Anish, and Vanesh who made my life at work cheerful and bubbly with their tease and fights! Thanks to Rangan, Mujeeb, Shyam and Nasir for showing me the true definition of sincerity and dedication! Ravi- Thanks for the million arguments on mails without which I would have forgotten to fight! Though I dint get much scope to work with u- Mahesh, but whatever li’l I have known u, it was great! Thanks a million to all the onsite folks for the extended co-operation that you have provided with extended hours and extended calls with me! J
I have mixed feelings while I part ways and a strong feeling that destiny is gonna give me lot of chances to be around the block, accidentally hitting up somewhere in this small world or through voice mails. Though I can’t take anything from here, but I am taking along with me the immense wealth of knowledge and the memories of the really good time I spent here…
My stay here was a blend! I had so many designations and titles. Ranging from build Engineer, sysadmin, Event Organizer, News Letter editor, Go gal to Hitler, chatter box, khadoos, kapper to kappie etc! J
Needless to say, more that 1 and half long years of stay here was a conglomerate of myriad experiences, both at professional and personal levels. I wish all of you continued success and a lot of happiness. Thank you for such a warm farewell (I was touched) and the valuable gifts.
I can always be reached at swatisanganeria@gmail.com and would be pleased to be in touch. Just for the ending note, I'll miss you all.
All the best and wishing GOOD LUCK for all times to come.
Swati Sanganeria
P.S: Bidding adieu with the quote, “God often uses small matches to light up great torches and no matter how small we feel in this world, he has something big in store for us. We just have to wait for the right time and be alert to recognize it, when it strikes”.

Attitude!!!

At this juncture of life, the thoughts in my mind are scattered and dispersed.

On one side there is a plethora of joy about being independent, of the realization that I have managed to create a space for myself in this over crowded world. I have confronted all my fears and allowed my self to become more productive and still moving on the path of attaining perfectionism.

And on the other side, my mind struggles hard to find “Is this is a viscous circle??”
Is this the way life is goanna be. Is this mundane routine goanna continue for the rest of life? I hate it! This is what I call “Cycle of Life”. Isn’t this job robbing me of my free time, my hobbies, my unrealized dreams with worries about scripts, defects, code, bugs, network problems, issues, server down time and deadlines. Is this the life of a S/W (sleepy Weepy) Engineer??

It was just yesterday that we were setting the trends. May it be clothes, dance, drama, music, sports or literature; we were masters of all. There was no space for
the word “NO” in life.
And today I can say with conviction, not one hand would volunteer for either of it.
Where has the passion got lost?
It was just a year back that I was the heart and soul of my college functions and today I find it hard to sit and watch a function because my mind is bogged with the thoughts of reaching office on time tomorrow, of the unfinished task on the queue. Only yesterday did I realize how this slow poison has done its reaction.

But then came a strong realization which bought a sudden enlightenment. It’s the benediction of the lord that we are given the path to success as an easy piece of cake. It’s just the attitude that has lost its place. All you need is a little time …………We just need to plunge in deep into our heart and find the passion still intact! And that’s promise friend!!!

Food for thought:

What we do during our working hours determines what we have,What we do during our leisure hours determines what we are.

I can conquer the whole world.....

I can conquer the whole world with one hand as long as you are holding the other!


A positive avalanche pours in! One moment you have nothing and the next, you have more than you can cope with.

One moment you are struggling hard with whirls of paradoxes, with extreme emotions and the next moment you are full of composure…

Yes! In the recent past, peace and happiness was a like a mirage…Things looked faded, colorless and blurred. The road I chose was dark and deep, and I was walking there in solitude with just my soul with me….. There was just a stir of sadness and I found a hand holding mine with compassion, love and warmth. And I turned to find my soul mate, standing neither behind nor ahead of me, just along with me. It was that moment, which gave me assurance of life time.
I could feel a different me! I could feel the courage to cope up with everything and I actually coped up with all the sadness. Neither did I just leave the old things, I discovered a better life. A life, the way I wanted it to be! Just a big decision to walk towards the tough road for the first time and then all is smooth…Life gave me all the happiness I desired for…….

We realize how easy and simple the toughest hours of our life are only after cracking it……

Dedicated to my friend!

Today on my way to office, just looking out of the window...soo many thoughts got over my head! The journey to office seemed soo long.......I realized an element missing in my life..Yes, that was my friend Shri...Never before did I realize how much I wil miss her..How Imp had she become in my life....
Last nite, I was fighting with thoughts....had a bad and long night! The person with whom, I use to talk every nite before sleeping, was no more there beside me...It was a sad night!
:-(
But then, I realized how selfish I had become...I should be happy that my friend is starting a new life...A beautiful life...Life with her soul mate...He is fortunate enough to find a girl like her...She is atrue friend..! :-) Yes, she proves the fact that Scorpio's are the most loyal friends on this earth....would just like to thank my friend through this post of mine! Thanks dear!

Wish u all the luck in life! :) miss u!